Are we heading for a deep recession? The Secret Estate Agent shares his views

The Secret Estate Agent answers your property posers. Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto

The Secret Estate Agent answers your property posers. Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto - Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Let Hertfordshire’s Secret Estate Agent answer your property questions and give an insight into the world of estate agency...

Are property prices going to plunge as we slip into a deep, miserable recession?

Thanks for the question. Are you a journalist for the Daily Express?

The recession is inevitable as GDP will undoubtedly fall for consecutive months but on a positive note a V-shaped recovery is not out of the question and the housing market was motoring before the lockdown.

There have been a lot of grants given to employers to hopefully stave off redundancies.

We have returned to some sort of functioning state in just over a week, and encouragingly there have been a number of sales agreed from £375,000 through to £1.5m and at keen prices - and in addition a number of fresh instructions coming to market.

We will have to wait and see whether this can be sustained and judge the economic climate when lockdown is further relaxed and more people go back to work.

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What would you be if you weren’t an estate agent?

I would like to be go into politics, perhaps as a senior adviser to the PM. I hear the pay is good and your boss just lets you do what you want. If only there was a vacancy...

Have recent property viewings been weird? How are you making sure people are safe?

It has been strange; the mindset has changed from the time you meet the viewer as the old norm was to go straight for the handshake but the new norm is to back off defensively and politely.

We are going through the safety procedures at length prior to the viewing and stressing: “Do not touch anything apart from the carpet.”

Previously, I could guarantee when I used to point out the airing cupboard on a viewing that the viewer would without fail open it and make a comment on the slatted shelving or the hot water tank. No more.

What’s the strangest thing anyone’s ever asked you on a viewing?

Will the owners be taking their lawn with them?

What’s your favourite estate agent joke?

Two small boys were overheard talking at school one day:

“My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.

“Tommy,” replied the second.

“My daddy’s an accountant. What does your daddy do?” asked Billy.

Tommy replied: “My daddy’s an estate agent.”

“Honest?” asked Billy.

“No, just the regular kind,” replied Tommy.

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