SIR – A snapshot of life in our village in The Times Bricks and Mortar section on February 20 may have given quite the wrong impression of this singular community. May a local arriviste whose desirable east-side location happily didn t get a mention in

SIR - A snapshot of life in our "village" in The Times' Bricks and Mortar section on February 20 may have given quite the wrong impression of this singular community.

May a local arriviste whose desirable east-side location happily didn't get a mention in the Smartest Streets section add some spread to the bread?

"Harpenden... is a magnet for bankers and lawyers migrating from London... they come for the long gardens..." - some of which are reputedly sold off for huge mansions on tiny plots.

"An attractive well-heeled town with a surprising expanse of parks..." - not all of which, like surplus allotments, have yet been sliced off for executive housing.

"People wear their wealth lightly..." - apart from the luscious lunching ladies in designer silk gowns weighed down by posh bling.

"You won't get into the state schools from West Common Way..." - naturally, it's too far to walk, and the satnavs in Precious Cargo Carriers are pre-programmed to the private prep schools (not via the Smartest Streets of course).

"Lots of pubs and the tex-mex bar is an after-hours drinking institution..." - religious worship for the under-30s. Do Sgt Ducket and his High Street Runners know about this?

"The town hall hosts performances..." - pantomime, hypnotherapy, lap-dancing? Council meetings used to be comedy turns but they're pretty anodyne these days.

"Polite residents... St Albans without the edge, say locals..." - of course we doff our caps to say "good morning, my man" to the disadvantaged and less fortunate, and subsidise the Albanian townies because it is our pleasure and duty to do so.

"Not a multicultural town...some yummy mums have a competitive edge that sends other families to seek refuge in nearby villages..." - what? Mainly white and pushy? Do they mean us?

The inopportune photo illustrating this modern morality tale appears to be a group of the above hanging around a local landmark pub waiting for opening time. Oh dear!

ROBERT HILL

East Common, Harpenden