On the Market: Remembering disastrous property viewings...

PUBLISHED: 09:26 13 June 2017 | UPDATED: 11:48 13 June 2017

Rachel Love

Rachel Love

Archant

Turns out property viewing calamities aren’t a new thing for Rachel…

Our search for the perfect house has proven futile so far, with only a few viewings under our belts and nothing in the pipeline.

It reminds me of when we put the house on the market in 2009. I was 16.

It was a Monday morning during the school holidays and mum was heading to work. Before she left the house she mentioned someone “possibly popping over”. I wasn’t listening, I was asleep.

“Keep the house tidy and put some proper clothes on!” She called from the other side of my bedroom door as I rolled around on my bed trying to muster the energy to get up.

Completely forgetting what mum had said I decided it was a pyjama day, so I shoved on a pair of scruffy shorts, navy blue and covered in splodges of paint from decorating. They had been part of a joke present from a friend - a “sexy pilot” costume she had bought me for a Halloween party, which I refused to wear, now they were painting shorts. With a messy bun sliding off the side of my head, a t-shirt with holes and a pair of furry slippers, the look was complete.

Buttering my toast, I heard the doorbell ring. An old man and mousy-haired woman introduced themselves, Kelly and Ned. Suddenly I was all too aware that they were viewing the house and I looked like Stig of the Dump.

They looked me up and down with mild disgust, mingled with something like derision. The woman was middle-aged, she wore a smart suit and her hair was slicked back into a neat ponytail, the old man wore corduroy trousers, sandals, a summer shirt and a furrowed brow.

“This is my dad, he will be moving in with my husband, the kids and I.”

I had seen that kind of family set up on TV before, the awkward arrangement of married couple and father-in-law.

“Oh god that sounds so awkward! I’d hate to live with my mum when I’m married, must be rubbish.” A pause followed while I evaluated my first error.

You can imagine the look on their faces, the woman raised an eyebrow and the old man blushed.

I turned from them in panic and began the grand tour. Mid way through the kitchen I heard the woman tut and when I turned to look at them they were red faced, the woman shaking her head in disbelief. I ignored her because she seemed like the type that was never satisfied with anything.

“Wow! It’s so big, it’s much bigger than the photos!” The old man said, looking around the living room.

Without a second thought I replied: “Ooh, said the barmaid to the vicar!” It was a compulsion. I lunged forward to elbow him, cajoling him into laughter, but he was offended and uncomfortable.

“Sorry!”

“I think we might go to be honest,” said the woman as they turned to leave.

“Sorry! It was just a joke!” I followed them along the hallway towards the front door, hoping I could change their minds.

Before they got in their car, the woman turned and said: “Oh and change those shorts! How inappropriate!”

“It’s just paint, you stuck up cow!” I yelled back. It wasn’t my finest hour.

When I got inside I looked at my paint splattered shorts. “Everyone has decorating clothes,” I thought.

But then I turned around and written in bold letters across my derriere was the word that will haunt me forever: ‘COCKPIT’

How had I never seen that before?! The horror, the sexy pilot horror.

Now, as we continue our house hunt we think “Surely it can’t get any worse than that.”

The saga continues…

Latest South Hertfordshire Property News

13:43

Development of the former Beaumont Works site on Sutton Road is well under way, with the first selection of homes due to be released in January 2018.

Read more
08:00

Built in 1680, this superb landmark building is situated in the heart of historic Markyate village and offers abundant versatile living space.

Read more
Yesterday, 13:35

St Albans is the most expensive place to move from a two-bed flat to a three-bed house outside London, with buyers paying an extra £185,640 on average.

Read more
Yesterday, 10:36

“Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness” - it’s certainly a passage which is springing to mind at the moment - the mornings are shrouded with mist, and there’s a real nip in the air before the sun properly comes up.

Read more
Mon, 11:54

Richard Burr reveals how to make an old and worn front door look as good as new.

Read more
Friday, October 13, 2017

Just a few miles west of Harpenden is the pretty village of Flamstead, best-known locally for its annual scarecrow festival.

Read more
Friday, October 13, 2017

It’s been under construction for most of the year, but new St Albans city centre development, 55 Victoria Street, is now nearing completion.

Read more
Thursday, October 12, 2017

Singling out just a handful of streets and labelling them as St Albans’ most sought-after seems a tricky task given the strength of the competition.

Read more
Thursday, October 12, 2017

The Newsom Place development on Hatfield Road has won the St Albans Civic Society’s top award for 2016.

Read more
Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Turning your garage into an additional room can increase your property’s value by up to 20 per cent, new research has revealed.

Read more
Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Every year it feels like it has been an exceptionally quiet summer holiday period but there was certainly a significant reduction in enquiries and movement for commercial properties this time.

Read more
Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Approaching 1500 sq ft, with a fully converted loft space and further potential for extension STPP, this spacious five bedroom semi-detached is perfectly positioned to take advantage of local amenities and schooling.

Read more
Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Right up there with the conversation about whether you’ve put the heating on yet is the one about spiders and whether the autumn influx has hit your home.

Read more
Monday, October 9, 2017

Bungalows are falling out of fashion and a “catastrophic” housing shortage could result, an online estate agent has warned.

Read more
Monday, October 9, 2017

Properties in the St Albans local authority area have been found to have the second most expensive square footage outside of London.

Read more
Friday, October 6, 2017

More sellers listed their properties in September than in any other month in the last two years, according to latest research.

Read more
Friday, October 6, 2017

The nights are closing in and many of us are turning our minds to home security.

Read more
Thursday, October 5, 2017

Builder (and Great British Bake Off runner-up) Richard Burr reveals his top five tips for transforming a feature wall...

Read more
Thursday, October 5, 2017

With its own shopping and community hub, Southdown is within walking distance of the centre of Harpenden yet very much an area in its own right.

Read more
Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Andrew Boothby, senior planning consultant at Aitchison Raffety, outlines all you need to know about loft conversions.

Read more
Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Longdene is located in a wonderful semi-rural location set in private gardens in excess of two acres. The main house, which is in excess of 4700 sq ft, offers well balanced, flexible accommodation over two floors.

Read more
Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Spider season has arrived, and as our eight-legged friends move in many of us are feeling like moving out.

Read more
Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Harpenden has the 11th highest number of streets with properties valued at £1m-plus outside of London, according to Zoopla’s Rich List 2017.

Read more
Monday, October 2, 2017

In a world of home, child and pet ownership, carpet can be a tricky thing to purchase. There’s no point in buying plush, squishy ones as they’ll be looking squashed and stained very shortly, but the more practical, stain-resistant options often look a lot like big, expensive doormats.

Read more
Monday, October 2, 2017

Spend some time, money and effort now to make sure your home is ready for the rigours of winter weather. From leaks to leaves, Julia Gray addresses the most likely issues...

Read more
Friday, September 29, 2017

While picking a house and moving in may sound like a simple task, it is very common for first-time buyers to rush the process and make lots of easily avoided mistakes along the way – some of which can end up costing them a lot more money in the long run.

Read more
Friday, September 29, 2017

The snuggly season is upon us, and we’re altering our interiors to match the changes in our clothes and our mood.

Read more
Thursday, September 28, 2017

Jersey Farm is a purpose-built estate a couple of miles north-east of St Albans.

Read more
Thursday, September 28, 2017

We all know how ridiculous house prices are in this part of the world, but for anyone looking for an alternative to the traditional buying or renting of an actual house or flat, there are options – some more appealing than others.

Read more
Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Alastair Woodgate of leading St Albans and Watford based Chartered Surveyors, Rumball Sedgwick, says there’s more to being a good landlord than meets the eye.

Read more

HERTS AD PROPERTY E-EDITION

Image
Read the Herts Ad Property e-edition E-edition

NEWSLETTER SIGN-UP

Get the latest St Albans and Harpenden property news and features straight to your inbox with our regular newsletter

I am also happy to receive other emails...
Fields marked with a * are mandatory
Email Marketing by e-shot

MOST READ

search


e.g. Oxford or NW3
Powered by Zoopla

Local business directory

Hertfordshire's trusted business finder